A fractured fairy tale: the frog prince

The frog photographs have inspired me to write a fractured fairy tale. A fractured fairy tale is a fairy tale that has been rewritten with different characters, settings, or outcomes. Generally, it is best to use a well-known fairy tale and then "fracture" it. I chose the story of the frog prince for two reasons. The first is that I have the pictures to go with the story. The second is that the story is well-known so it will be more obvious that it has been fractured. I would encourage you to try your hand at writing a fractured fairy tale. It might even be fun to do so with a group of friends, who share your sense of humor.

If you create your fractured fairy tale in a group, choose one person to the be "scribe," to write down your ideas and, then, the story. One way of writing a group story would be to choose the fairy tale and then brainstorm setting, characters, and outcome. Once you've done that, you can create in any way that you choose. To make sure that everyone gets to participate, one way of telling the story would be to go around in a circle. Each person can add a sentence or two to the tale. It's OK to egg one another on to greater levels of absurdity. No idea is too wild for a fractured fairy tale. It's all about having fun and using your imagination. So, here is my fractured fairy tale, based on The Frog Prince.

Once upon a time, there was a princess. She was tall and gorgeous and, oddly enough, didn't have a boyfriend. Well, she probably didn't have a boyfriend because the supply of princes had reached the level of nonexistent. There was a serious prince shortage. Her parents, the king and the queen, spent a lot of time traveling to other kingdoms to try to find a boyfriend for the lovely, yet somewhat self-absorbed, princess.

One day, the princess, who was once again on her own as her parents were busy searching for that elusive prince, decided to take a walk. She wanted to catch a frog because she thought that a frog would make a great pet. She also wanted to kiss a frog because she heard that, sometimes, when frogs got kissed, they turned into handsome princes. And who wouldn't go for that? So she walked toward the pond, carrying her favorite golden ball. The only problem was that the pond was dried up because there was a terrible drought. The princess went off and finally found a large patch of weeds in the spot where there had formerly been a pond. This annoyed the heck out of her.

She wondered why the Royal Team of Gardeners had not dug up all of those horrid weeds. She had complained to them but they muttered something about soil erosion so she decided to go shopping instead at the Princesses R Us Shoppe. She purchased tiaras in her favorite colors: emerald and ruby. She thought that the tiaras would be bedecked with emeralds and rubies and was disappointed that the tiaras were cheap little things that had been painted emerald and ruby. She donated the tiaras to a pre-school, where the little girls dressed up and pretended to be princesses.

All of a sudden, she spotted the frog. She was very happy to see that frog sitting in the midst of the ugly weeds. Now she could be sure that her prince would kiss her and that she would live happily ever after. She couldn't just scoop up the frog and kiss it for it was sure to hop away and then she would never see it again. She began throwing the golden ball in the air. She threw it higher and higher, laughing gleefully at the sight of the golden ball sailing in the air. Finally, she threw it so high that she could not catch it. She watched it sail out of sight. She sat on the ground, oblivious to the fact that her gown had become stained and that would make the Royal Laundry People (and her parents) very angry. She wept pitifully because her favorite toy had disappeared. The frog jumped on her lap and then on her shoulder. She was started and tried to shoo it away. She had forgotten that she was supposed to kiss a frog so that it would break the enchantment that had caused the handsome prince to turn into a frog.

The frog pitied the girl and he kissed her on the mouth. Because the frog kissed the girl, instead of the girl kissing the frog, she immediately turned into a frog. Both frogs hopped off into the woods, seemingly in love, and were never seen again.

The end!