Wednesday, April 26, 2017

U is for uxurious and other unique, unusual words

I love words. Since today is sponsored by the letter "U," I thought that I would share some of the words beginning with that letter. The words that I am sharing are probably not words that you hear or see everyday. Nevertheless, I think that they look really cool. They are Unique, Unusual, and never Ugly.

Here is the list of ten cool-looking words that begin with the letter "u":

  • Uxorious: having or showing an excessive or submissive fondness for one's wife
  • ubiquitous: omnipresent
  • unctuous: greasy
  • ukulele: a small, four-stringed guitar-like instrument
  • unzymotic: fabulous
  • ucalegon: neighbor whose house is on fire 
  • ulmaceous: of or like elms
  • unberufen: exclamation to avert ill luck following boasting
  • undercroft: crypt or vault under a church
  • upaithric: roofless, open to the sky
OK, let's see if I can write a little story with these words. 

I can see clearly now, sang
the drunken uxorious
man as he staggered
in the wrong direction
A very uxorious man was singing a happy song as he walked home from the neighborhood bar. He had enough sense to walk, instead of drive, because he was completely inebriated. He walked past the place where his beautiful, most radiant wife had planted trees. He especially loved the ulmaceous plantings but she insisted that it was important to plant a variety of species, not just elms. He worshiped his wife so much that he believed that she knew his every secret because she was ubiquitous

Just then, he smelled something suspicious. Even with his drunken nose, he could smell fire. Or was it just bad cooking? Was somebody cooking in an unctuous mess? His unzymotic wife would never create such a stinky, disgusting fire hazard when cooking. Her cooking was always heavenly, a real treat for the senses. Oh! What a magnificent wife! Perfect in every way. He suddenly, in his drunken stupor, realized that he was boasting too much about his magnificent marriage and that boasting could be bad luck. He uttered an unberufen quickly and fervently. 

All of a sudden, the man discovered that he was lost. He had taken a wrong turn somewhere. He regretted not calling a taxi cab. Then, all of a sudden, he saw the source of the smell. It was a restaurant on fire. It wasn't just the odor of the unctuous mess. The roof was gone. The building had become upaithric. Firefighters were rushing to the scene. The drunk man was fascinated by the fire and wanted to see it up close. He was prevented from getting anywhere near it by police, who held their noses when they got close to him. He was so drunk that he was unaware that he reeked of stale beer and tobacco.   The police, however, weren't interested in him and his odors. They had found the ucalegon and they were questioning her. He tried to get close enough to hear the questioning and heard something about concern that her siding was being melted by the conflagration. The cops pushed him to get him away from the questioning session. The drunk man lurched forward and rolled on the ground several times before coming to a rest at the trunk of an oak tree.

"Not an elm," he thought sadly as he staggered and lurched in an effort to get up. Finally, he made it to his feet and walked away, a bit unsteadily. He was uninjured, though a bit dusty. He tried to find his way back home. There was a church nearby. He remembered once sleeping in the undercroft after his wife kicked him out of the house for, he forgot what. It wasn't drunkenness. It was something. They had had a spat. He actually yelled at his most magnificent of spouses. Oh yeah, it was his turn to cook dinner and he cooked something that she didn't like but he forgot that she didn't like it. So he cooked it. She held her nose and told him that he just wanted her to take him out to a restaurant and that he cooked something inedible on purpose. He admitted that it was probably true and that he wanted to show her off in a restaurant. She told him that his obsequious behavior seemed sarcastic and that he could go somewhere else for the night. So he snuck into a church and slept in the undercroft and left before the cops found him.

The uxorious man had a strange relationship with cops, probably because, every time he encountered them, he smelled atrocious. He walked and walked and walked. He saw the sun rise and he wondered how long he had been walking. His feet grew sore but, all of a sudden, he recognized the neighborhood. His house! It was there and still standing! He staggered up the front steps and was surprised to hear the sound of ukelele music from inside the house. He looked inside and saw his wife with a young boy, who was playing the ukelele, slightly awkwardly. He remembered that his wife gave music lessons in the morning. He was much less drunk than he had been before he had gotten lost. He quietly entered the house via the side door and, after the lesson was over, his wife found him snoring loudly on the sofa. She covered him with a blanket and shook her head at her very smelly husband.




2 comments:

Heather Erickson said...

It's fun to put unusual words into a story so you never forget them.

Kathleen Port said...

Thanks for this! I have always loved words, and their origin story. One of my college professors scorned the use of "sincerely" as a closing sentiment for correspondence. He explained that the Greek roots were sina/without + wax/cera; so a letter signed "sincerely" was not important enough for a wax seal. That's a 40-year lesson learned!

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